apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
This beer is not sobering me up at all
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
