This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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