oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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