Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Enjoy the penises
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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