dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just blew my weed a kiss
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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