i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
