We're like a lot better than the average bears
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
