the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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