Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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