best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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