You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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