Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
