she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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