he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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