oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
