I can tuck mytits in my pants
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
