1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
