yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
