Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
