Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
