it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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