I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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