sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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