you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Found the puke drawer
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Randomize
