so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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