Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
