Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
