You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
