I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
