just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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