I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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