So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
