so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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