I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
