I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
