Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
