Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
