all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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