We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
