I feel like abortions should bother me more
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
