Need sex. Gaining weight.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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