Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
