sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My butt remains clenched, sir.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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