hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
