Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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