I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
