is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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