This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I want her autograph on my taint
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
