Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
