so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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