it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
