I don't think brook has ever known best
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
