ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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