i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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