I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
